Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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