Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
