he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
