I want to make a zoo with you.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
