I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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