Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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