yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Randomize
