They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
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