you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
