Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
