Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
