i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize