I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize