just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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