The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Randomize
