Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
