I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize