Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
