Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
