Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I see more hoeing in ur future
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