Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
