Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
