girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
