I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
