Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Randomize
