Say something about gay babies.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I miss vodka workout Fridays
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
