You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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