I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
