put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Randomize
