If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
