see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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