Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
