I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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