it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
