party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
