I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Randomize
