I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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