Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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