Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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