I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
My penis needs a shock collar
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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