Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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