It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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