There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize