jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Randomize
