dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Randomize
