did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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