she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
