so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize