i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
