he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
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