I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
