I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Can you bring me the toilet please
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
