I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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