No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize
