I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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