I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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