Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Randomize
