do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
