i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
